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The nest is empty. Now what?
In the past few weeks, a major lifetime milestone has come and gone. Kids started college and many parents returned home to an empty nest.
妻友社区鈥檚 (GGC) Dr. David Ludden, professor of psychology and Psychology Department chair, said that empty nesters may experience many emotions.
鈥淚 think for most parents, the experience of sending their children to college is bittersweet,鈥 he said. 鈥淭hey spend so much time raising their children that part of their identity is being their son or daughter鈥檚 parent. It鈥檚 natural to feel sad. This is a shift in family life for both the parents and the children.鈥
Ludden added that parents should view this milestone in a different light.
鈥淚t鈥檚 not the situation that parents should focus on. It鈥檚 how to interpret it. In this case, parents have done a good job raising their children so that they are ready to leave the nest and become self-sufficient adults,鈥 he said.
Becoming an empty nester is also an opportunity.
鈥淲ith children out of the house, parents now have time to refocus their energies on themselves,鈥 Ludden said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 the chance to reinvigorate the marriage now that parents have more time to spend together, whether it鈥檚 as simple as taking the time to really talk with each other or planning a date night.鈥
With extra time, Ludden suggested that parents should rediscover themselves as individuals and as a couple.
鈥淧arents should explore their interests and become involved in hobbies or activities they enjoy,鈥 he said. 鈥淭hey should also pay more attention to their own health, like exercise. It may also include reaching out to a therapist if feelings of emptiness or sadness persist.鈥
As parents adjust to life in an empty nest, another family dynamic evolves.
鈥淧arents need to understand that their children are now adults and that the relationship between parents and children changes,鈥 Ludden said. 鈥淚t becomes more of an equal relationship. For example, when our son left for school, we would reach out if we were planning to be in town and ask him if he was available to meet for lunch.鈥